Struggling through with joy... |
kind of.
Struggling through with joy... |
The last day of any break is bittersweet. When I was a young teacher, I plunged into a deep depression the Sunday before I went back to work at the end of a break. Now I don’t mind the restoration of a schedule so much. I can accept the inevitability of the workday to come and take comfort in the fact that I like my job. Eighteen years of teaching has taught me the first hour will be a bit rough, then the kids will come. I'll be glad to see them, they’ll be tired and we’ll all spend a little time reconnecting . The day will begin to flow.
I’m still sad, however, to say goodbye to all the small, precious things I get to relish on these breaks. I just put my daughter down for her nap and we snuggled before I put her in her crib. Feeling her solid little body against mine and her fine soft hair brushing my chin is one of my greatest pleasures right now. I’ll miss the ease of these days, not needing to rush anyone out of pajamas, letting my son go an entire day without combing his hair, letting him play Legos for hours on end, having time to marvel at how much he’s learned since he started Pre-K this fall, hearing my daughter try all her new words, stopping to watch Peppa Pig with the kids after their nap. There is also the list of All the Things I Did Not Accomplish. It happens every break. I mentally list several amazing things I’m sure I’ll accomplish (cleaning out closets, learning to make homemade pita bread, making adjustments to my retirement account) and then I manage to accomplish exactly zero of those things. At least this year a good portion of the laundry is done, and the bathrooms are somewhat clean. The rest of the house looks like a disaster, but that’s a daily occurrence in a house with a preschooler and a toddler. We’ll pick it up after dinner and settle down for snuggles and stories. Tomorrow morning will be hard. The kids won’t want to get out of bed, they won’t want to rush through breakfast, I’ll be edgy and nervous about getting to school on time. It will suck, and there’s no way around it. Then the day will end, settle into the next, and we’ll be back in our routine. Before we know it, the ten weeks until summer break will pass, and we’ll be staring at ten weeks of freedom, to fill with more snuggling and swimming and art projects. I’ll make another impossible list to regret at the end of summer break, and then we’ll go back to school. It’s a cycle I’ve gotten used to, and I’m grateful for the little bit of sadness I’m experiencing this afternoon as I contemplate the next few weeks of school. It the price of a lovely spring break.
6 Comments
Tamara
3/18/2018 02:14:27 pm
I think everyone here can relate and that’s a great way of looking at it: the price of a lovely spring break. Your second paragraph captured the gentle joy of having little ones so well, it made long to snuggle a little fuzzy head.
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franmcveigh
3/18/2018 02:22:50 pm
So, I've worked where we had a spring break, but yet my schools didn't so I've only had a week break during the year maybe three times in 40 years. However, this is exactly how I feel when the winter holiday break ends. Too many "to do's" left undone and too little time remaining! It will all work out in the end!
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3/18/2018 02:47:09 pm
The last day of Spring Break is the worst. Almost as bad as the last day of summer. It is important to remember that often kids are feeling the same as we are! My Spring doesn't start until NEXT Friday. I am crawling my way there.
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Brian Kissel
3/18/2018 03:51:07 pm
I really liked these two lines: "When I was a young teacher, I plunged into a deep depression the Sunday before I went back to work at the end of a break. Now I don’t mind the restoration of a schedule so much." Maturity helps us take comfort in the routine, doesn't it?
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3/18/2018 04:17:29 pm
I was thinking roughly the same thing all day yesterday and today. It's back to school for us tomorrow, and I want it but don't at the same time. I like the routine, but getting back into it will be SO hard tomorrow!
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Sonja Schulz
3/20/2018 03:53:07 pm
It is always the missing of those sweet little moments that is hardest for me about going back. I love my school kids, and I love my job as a librarian, but ah, the joys of days with no specific time commitments are lovely!
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